Pretty Woman Isn’t a Dating Strategy

Time to get real. Pretty Woman was a great but problematic movie. When you boil it down she was a prostitute hired by the stereotypical entitled rich white male. I think at one point he even goes so far as to say people do what he wants them to because he’s rich. He can’t be bothered to actually be a decent human being so he’s just going to hire a woman to be at his side. In the end he realizes he loves her and they live happily ever after. Total Hollywood bullshit. It should go without saying that this is not a valid approach to dating, right? Well you’d be wrong.

Meet Scott. Scott is a single father of two. A little over a year ago Scott and I went on a date. We had been chatting for about a week before the date and he seemed charming and funny. He had a somewhat twisted sense of humor which matched my own. We met up for a wine tasting and dinner at a restaurant he used to work at. He attempted to impress me by sharing his intimate knowledge of how the restaurant world worked despite the fact that I used to work in restaurants. All of the former employees seemed friendly but not exactly happy to see him. It was odd but I brushed it off.

We sit down for dinner and he insists on getting a bottle of wine despite the fact that we had already had done the tasting which was equivalent to about a glass and a half of wine. We order food and continue to chat. The meal arrives and for some reason he picks this moment to inform me about his baggage. He has a 3 year old daughter and his ex is 6 months pregnant with his second child. The ex is a stripper who’s an addict and the 3 year old is currently in the custody of the state because of a suspicious broken arm.

…..

Uh, what? Needless to say the night took a turn at that point. I’m not interested in children and I definitely wasn’t walking into that mess. The date ends and we go our own ways. He sends me a drunken tirade a few weeks later calling me all sorts of names before begging me to see him again. I tell him that it just isn’t going to work between us.

Fast forward to last week. I tend to let my friends swipe through my tinder account when we’re hanging out at the bar. We all get a laugh and sometimes they match me with guys I wouldn’t normally give a chance to. Occasionally that leads to some great dates like Amer. But that’s a story for another time. Can you guess what happened? We re-matched. He sent me a message but I ignored it. At this point I should have unmatched him. I can’t tell you why I didn’t other than I haven’t been paying much attention to my tinder account these past few weeks.

Then this happens:

 

Yes, ladies and gentleman he tried to solicit me for an evening. To say I was agape with shock is an understatement. Much like Richard Gere in pretty woman here we have an entitled white male who believes that women exist for him. I should be flattered that he made me such an offer because after all he could go for other girls. He has so much to offer the right woman, that just isn’t me. And then the fact that he ends the exchange with the fact that he’s sorry if I was offended. In what world is this approach not totally offensive? In what universe did he believe this would work? Life isn’t a Richard Gere movie. Treating women like prostitutes will not work out well for you.

I can’t believe in 2017 I’m having to deal with this. Women are not things to be bought and paid for. Women are actual human beings who deserve respect. Why is that such a hard concept to understand? Needless to say he has been blocked and reported.

On to the next misadventure.

Love,

M

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